is delighted to sign for
[[Image:biscan.jpg|thumb|right|125px| Igor is delighted to sign for Chelsea]]
Igor achieved world fame as the model for [[Da Vinci]]'s Easter Island statues. Carved out of volcanic rock, Igor stands at over 12 feet high.
His hobbies include frequent erectile dysfunction and public urination
His career as a model came to an end in 2001, when he revealed an addiction to [[Kitten Huffing]], and Igor returned to his native [[Transylvania]].
Probably the best centre back in the world - Lad I'm lying
He also hold the distincion of being named 3 times as the "Happiest Man In The World".
* [[Time bandits]]